Dear Everyone: Please Lighten Up on the iPad
It’s rare that something catches my attention and holds it for longer than three seconds, but I was no less than stunned at the backlash yesterday when Steve Jobs rolled out Apple’s latest creation, the iPad.
Holy crap, Batman.
The #1 trending topic on Twitter yesterday was NOT the iPad, but #iTampon. Several women reacted with comments like “This shows that no women were involved in naming the device.”
My thinking? Lighten up.
The San Francisco Chronicle ran an article this morning entitled “Apple iPad tablet called iTampon on Twitter; women tweet, “and the author, Zennie Abraham, commented, somewhat indignantly:
And the vast majority of tweets referencing the iTampon are issued or retweeted by women. And adding Apple’s self-inflicted insult to that injury is the Apple iPad video itself, presented by three white male Apple senior level employees and including no women, and one very provocative segment where a man is using the iPad, where it’s placed between his legs and at his crouch, and the woman points to a feature on the iPad right near his crouch.”
- In the last sentence, the word is “crotch,” not “crouch.” If we are going to go all ballistic (gasp! Did I mean “balls?”) on the male species, at least spell that part of our anatomy correctly.
- The vast majority of responses were tweeted or retweeted by women. Really? Perhaps I am not up on Twitter, but where is the box where you check your gender? And what aggregator enables someone to tally this magic number?
- It was presented by three white males. Guess what? Perhaps — just perhaps — these were individuals who were closely involved in the creation of the damn thing.
- And a woman pointing to a man’s “crouch?” Oh, the horrors. Pretty soon, they’ll go back and move Lucy and Rick’s beds together in the old “I Love Lucy” shows. And if you think THIS is provocative, walk through the grocery store with your children today and see how many times the word “orgasm” is listed in soft-core porn magazine like Cosmopolitan.
So here’s the Alpha Male perspective (and yes, I am ready for the inevitable flaming):
- I don’t remember there being an uproar when IBM rolled out the “trackball.” There were not men with the online equivalent of torches and pitchforks protesting the completely offensive, intentional and unjust allusion to the male anatomy. And women actually TOUCH THESE?
- Where is the outrage on mattress pads? Men and women lie on these things together — and gasp — sometimes take their clothes off!
- Women wore shoulder pads in the 80’s. Oh, the outrage! Are all of these women now headed back to the closet, burning their shoulder pads?
Ladies, I don’t want to hear any more about menstruation than you want to hear about us getting kicked in the balls, jock itch, or any other affliction which is unique to the male species. And in the midst of the greatest economic collapse — maybe now a double dip recession, wars on two fronts and Obama bin Laden’s ugly mug showing up on a TV screen near you more than Conan O’Brien, THIS is something to get worked up about?
So maybe — just maybe — everyone can put down their torches and pitchforks and think for a moment this very important thought:
Before the whole “Internet” thing, we had this handy-dandy little device called a PAD — OF PAPER. And we wrote on it. And we read it.
Lighten up people.
P.S. – I have linked to the image from the SF Chronicle article. Click on it. At the end of the image name, you’ll see “apple-ipad-phalic.jpg.” Hello pot? Kettle here.